5-25-8

• What some people (may or may not) have been waiting for:
  
  

  TOP 10 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

  1. Single Ply Toilet Paper – It is the most obnoxious thing in the world. You can make a thousand excuses for its existence and none of them are acceptable in my opinion.
  2. The Spurs - You already know. I hate this team. Every time they win, they annoy me. His crooked schnoz and the bald spot on Ginobili's head annoys me. Tony Parkers flops annoy me. Tim Duncan's soulless eyes annoy me. Oberto's stupid hair annoys me. Robert Horry and his seven rings annoy me. The fact that Kurt Thomas plays for them annoys me. Bruce Bowen just makes me angry.
  3. “Don’t shush me!” – Especially when it’s by someone that is not of African-American descent. But it doesn’t matter who says it, it still infuriates me. Their indignation at being asked to be quiet in a place they shouldn’t be speaking so loudly is enough to make me want to punch them in the face. Especially, when accompanied by the wide eyes, the head and neck roll from side to side, and the coup de grâce –a single Motumbo finger wag.
  4. Mass Text Messages – “Happy Christmas” “Hope you have a great turkey day.” What is the point of sending out text messages like these? Not only are you wasting your texts, but you’re wasting mine. And I swear if I have to pay additional money because you sent me this crap, I will hunt you down and ask for a reimbursement.
  5. The Daily News – This might very well be the worst publication in print today. Granted, there are probably others that deal with worst things, but I don’t know them (nor do I care to know of them) and consequentially, that leaves the dubious distinction of the most crap-tastic newspaper with The Daily News. The articles are practically all fluff and when a real news story comes along, they try so hard to bring out the human interest aspect of it, that the facts are distorted and inevitably, written poorly. Essentially, the whole thing is propaganda piece that’s more fiction than fact and worth less then getting a free copy on your front lawn that will later be used to start a fire.
  6. Surveys on Myspace & The Insane Amount of Applications on Facebook – I don’t care about who was the last person you spoke to on the phone or if you think someone might have a crush on you. I really don’t care about Lil’ Green Patches, Speed Racing, Oregon Trail, or your score on the Name This Harry Potter Character Quiz. You may notice that I like my pages to be nice and neat. But I won’t pay money to do that, so if I can help, I’ll just ignore it.
  7. People that stop in front of you – Don’t you just want to punch them in the back of the head and scream at them “Hey! I’m walking here!” People who spread out in such a way that they aren’t far enough apart from each other yet just enough to take over the entire width of the walk way come in second. However, when they get annoyed when you rudely walk through them without saying excuse me can almost makes up for it. Almost. Not quite.
  8. The Anti-Me – The easiest way to describe these girls is to express the way they speak. They have this strange sing-song voice that makes every word come out like it’s a question. They also giggle incessantly at things that aren’t even funny. It drives me nuts. Think… Amy. UGH!!!!
  9. Traffic Cameras – I guess that’s the future. But still, one must seriously slow down on Desoto and Roscoe or pretty much anywhere along the Orange Line. Granted I have never gotten a ticket through this. But when it flashes and lights up the entire intersection, your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest and even if nobody is in the car, you start saying, “No man, I totally made it through. I was past the white line. NO DUDE! I made it through.” That’s annoying.
  10. Higher Math (i.e. Calculus, Trigonometry) - Since it’s really been absent from my life for the last 5 years, it’s been demoted to number 9. However, its existence is still a bane to be suffered by others all over the world. Alas, I must still suffer one more math class to transfer. For that, its looming presence continually irritates me.
      
      
  • Special Recognition:
  • Standing Tall: A Memoir of Tragedy and Triumph by Vivian Stringer. If I could write a book and get it published every time someone insulted me, I would have a library of my own books. What’s worse about this is that she wasn’t even insulted; it was a roundabout attack on her team’s dignity so she goes all Oprah about the whole thing and blows drastically out of proportions and now she’s portrayed as a modern day Martin Luther King Jr.? Are you kidding me?
  • Gas Prices
  • Borders taking away all the cool things about being an employee there
    
  
  

• This is like a car accident, terrifying and yet you cannot take your eyes from it. Mostly because Pau is driving. Man, I hope the Lakers win tonight.